Earning money or having fun?

I hate this? Being presented with options? Ok, I have confirmed  a while ago that I am playing  in the scrabble tournament tomorrow and just now, my employer texted me asking if I can work tomorrow, but then I just told her that I have an appointment to go. I no longer want to be changing my mind, I want to stick to my first decision. It's hard changing your mind always that's why. Well, living here in Australia, you really have to learn how to be tough. That's how life goes here. I am no longer in the Philippines. This is my world now. I have to live it. So tomorrow, I will be playing. Well, Scrabble is something that I love to do. Well, with all the things that are going through my life now, patience is all I need. Patience patience patience. I should not lose courage and hope to overcome this things. I don't know what I really want in this life, maybe I just don't like being stressed so I just want to make my life simple. That's all for me. Not wanting so many things. Playing tomorrow means I lose money for not going to my work but then money is not everything. I also want to have fun and learn how to say no. In this way, I will not feel that life is to busy for me. Well, hopefully I will have fun tomorrow.

Earning money or having fun?

I hate this? Being presented with options? Ok, I have confirmed  a while ago that I am playing  in the scrabble tournament tomorrow and just now, my employer texted me asking if I can work tomorrow, but then I just told her that I have an appointment to go. I no longer want to be changing my mind, I want to stick to my first decision. It's hard changing your mind always that's why. Well, living here in Australia, you really have to learn how to be tough. That's how life goes here. I am no longer in the Philippines. This is my world now. I have to live it. So tomorrow, I will be playing. Well, Scrabble is something that I love to do. Well, with all the things that are going through my life now, patience is all I need. Patience patience patience. I should not lose courage and hope to overcome this things. I don't know what I really want in this life, maybe I just don't like being stressed so I just want to make my life simple. That's all for me. Not wanting so many things. Playing tomorrow means I lose money for not going to my work but then money is not everything. I also want to have fun and learn how to say no. In this way, I will not feel that life is to busy for me. Well, hopefully I will have fun tomorrow.

Moving On….

As of now, I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I am so much concerned with my family, everyone of them that it seems I no longer know what will I do with myself. I am 21 years old, and I feel like I getting older very fast and that I am not enjoying my life at all. I hate this, I am so lonely. My mom is at work and I am left here alone, doing the net again. And I miss my family back in the Philippines so much. I don't really know what to do. Imagine my life waking up early in the morning just to go to work in the hotel, and when I come home, I already feel very tired. I don't even have the time to enjoy. Even if I have the time, I have no one to be with because my mother is busy also. Oh, how long can I endure this loneliness that I have with me right now. My life is a never ending cycle of loneliness, happiness, disappointments, encouragements, discouragements. Countless people that I meet and that some of them really made a impact in my life but in the end they have to leave me and that I will never see them again. Everytime that I am alone, I remember all those memories that I had. How happy I became during those days and I can't help but cry because I know I can no longer bring them back. My family, I really miss them. THey are all having fun there while mum and I are here. Very far from them. 

Waking up so lonely!

    What is happening with me? Is this normal. The more I try not to feel lonely, the more I get so lonely. I love being alone at times because I get to think a lot of things but if being alone for a long time, it is really hard to deal with it. My past just keeps coming back and that I don't know if I can still handle this situation. I don't know what tomorrow has for me, all I know now is that I am lonely. I want to do something but I can't do it, my life is so limited here that I can't do the things that I used to do.. I am here at a far land away from where I am used to and everyday my mind is there in the Philippines. How long can I endure this loneliness I have in me right now. Do I have to experience this so that one day I can say I am happy and fulfilled with my life?

Remembering my past!

At this part of my life where I feel that I have no one except my mother and Uncle John, I feel that I am very alone. Someone who don't even have a friend to share all the good things that I have now. I am in a very beautiful and wonderful country. With so many fantastic and amazing views but it seems like for me it is useless because I don't get to enjoy them. Everytime I see those places, I wished that someone is here beside me to enjoy the place. I can say that I have a great past. With all the people around me who have been part of it, then what else I can asked for. Those were the times when I have felt the happiest time of my life. Those days when I will just sit in the field, watching the sun to set and thinking the good times. The days when I used to play in the rain, running around the field. How I wish I can do that one right now.  Being away from all my loved ones back in the Philippines makes me realize how important they are to me. I do really miss everyone there. i used to go to school and do some funny things with classmates and friends. The time when I used to miss school because I just don't feel like going to school. The time when I am always late. Now, I can't do that anymore. Those days when I used to play scrabble with my playmates in scrabble. I miss the rain also, the strong typhoons and everything. I miss riding on a jeepney and tricycle. I miss eating in Jollibee alone. I miss walking in Session Road and SM. Now that I don't even have a single friend makes me wonder if I can survive it here. Life is too short for me to forever live a life like this. 

Another Day Has Just Passed Away

Today is friday again and I get paid everyday Friday. It's like I am happy to have money, to have something that I can hardly have when I was in the Philippines, but now I am earning so much. I just feel that I am too young for this one, but I thank the Lord for giving me all of this. I have two jobs, babysitting and housekeeping job in Radisson hotel. My babysitting job is not that hard, it is not that tiring unlike in the housekeeping that it is too physical. I don't really know if I really feel tired doing these jobs, maybe I am enjoying it already that's why for me I am not working. As the saying say, enjoy your work and you don't have to work for the rest of your life. I really don't know.

Someone that makes me happy!

Life is really full of surprises. We don't know what it has store for us, things just keep coming and it's up for us to grab each moment that comes along. Just like a while ago, who would ever know that my crush will be bring me to the station. Unexpected circumstance, something that will make me happy for a moment. If I can only hold on to that moment then it should have been better. But I can't do nothing, time flies so fast when you are happy. All that I have now is that memory that once in a while, in my lonely life here, there's this person who made me smile. I don't know what will this one bring me, happiness or loneliness? All I can feel now is that I am happy. 

INSPIRATION

This is a poem that I have copied somewhere else and I just like the message of this poem that's why I just like to share it with you guys.

When everything seems so hard,
I stop and think of you,
So strong despite of everything,
I find some courage, too.
When I just want to fall,
I remember your eyes so clear,
So I close mine for a second,
And it seems like you're near.
 When I'm sleeping,
You're in my dreams,

And were both happy, or  it seems
I've found a happiness, 
I'll have until the end,
And it came from you
Just being my friend.
You made me remember the good times
When I could only remember the bad
You promised me a return
Of the peace I long ago had
You never left me alone
When that was what I wrongly thought I needed
You never dwelt on my faults
Instead you pointed out when I had succeeded
You made me LAUGH
When I felt I would CRY
You made me LIVE
When I wished to DIE. 

Taking Life Seriously :-)

Hello everyone! I am a fresh graduate of IT and now I am confused with what will i do. Will I look for a job now or will i relax after all the sacrifices and hardships that i've been through my college days. I really don't know. Now, what i am doing is browsing the NET and looking for ways to earn money online. Sounds funny but it is real. I have signed-up with so many sites offering deals but i still don't see something that will give me what i want. Most of them, ask for payments before i'll start earning. And now, though i am not really good in expressing myself in words, i am trying to create my own blog and see how will this one help me.  Well, i hope that i will find the one i am really looking for as soon as possible….